If you are like me, you probably have seen a Transformers movie..maybe even 2, and then promptly forgot about them once the ringing in your ears went away. I saw the first one, just called “Transformers” ~ don’t really remember much of it..I can’t even remember if I saw the 2nd one, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” and I DEFINITELY know I did not see the 3rd one, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” so just in case you missed some of them also..here is a handy dandy little 3min recap courtesy of Vulture.com  http://www.vulture.com/2014/06/transformers-recap-three-minutes-explanation-video.html

That will catch you right up.  Unless of course you’re looking for Shia LeBouf’s character “Sam Witwicky” or Megan Fox’s character “Mikaela Banes” though i think she was gone after #2 ..or well basically if you’re looking for any other character other than the Transformers themselves..because they aren’t here.. nor are they even MENTIONED ..or do we even know they once existed.  This to me is more of a re-boot than anything else with new characters “Cade Yeager” (Mark Walhberg) (aka Marky Mark always and forever!), his perpetually tan daughter, “Tessa Yeager” (Nicole Peltz), his surfer bestie, “Lucas Flannery” (T.J. Miller), the oh so adorable Irish boyfriend in the middle of nowhere Texas, “Shane Dyson” (Jack Reynor)…and of course the villains, “Harold Attinger” (Kelsey Grammer), “James Savoy” (Titus Welliver), and of course the bad man who turns ‘good’ (ZZZZzzzzzz) “Joshua Joyce” (Stanley Tucci).

I’m not even sure there is really a plot to this movie.. or maybe there is too much of one trying to be an actual plot as the majority of it makes no sense…because this is a LOOONGG, LOOUUDD..movie.. Went to the restroom for a few moments and absolute heaven,..as in quietness. To be truthful, the first 30min of this movie were not awful.. Basically, Cade buys an old truck, which as he is repairing it, turns out to be the long missing Optimus and once it’s figured out by Harold Attinger, they end up being hunted by a top-secret team of Transformer Destroyers. We are supposed to be on the side of the Transformers but Attinger, who is with a special secret CIA group & his hitman, Savoy have a huge money deal with Joyce to get all the metal the Transformers are made of to then make their own and do what else..control the world..Lo and behold, they also have a piece of alien technology called ‘the Seed,’ which, it turns out, is what REALLY wiped out the dinosaurs.Yep..there was no ice age people.. this is the truth!!! 😀

What all this is really leading up to is SEQUEL!!! It’s CLEARLY noted in so many different ways in so many different sentences you can’t stop laughing..and that is what I did through most of the movie.. LAUGH!! I can’t help myself during bad movies.. at least it makes them fun.  It jumps from one bad CGI action sequence to another.. I mean you see them crash into a bridge and it blows up..yet 2 scenes later you see said bridge perfectly fine in the background. Come on Michael Bay.. check your CGI dude. While most of it is that bad, some of the chase scenes were decent including one at the end where they have a fun one scrambling down the sides & ledges of those cramped Hong Kong apartment buildings. I also kept laughing as they try to have silly, dumb, trying to hard to be witty, banter between characters at times that makes you just want to pound your head and scream WHYYYY!! WHYYYY!!!  it doesn’t work nor fit.  And the end we get a what is supposed to be a heartfelt speech from Optimus.. which is basically telling you what the next movie is going to be all about. Oh and there is dino bots..which are okay..

The best part of this whole experience for me..These pic below..#bumblebeebot #Paramountscreeningwithfriends Jason, Cody, Jon

Grade:D

#peggyatthemovies

GRADING SCALE: A = OSCARWORTHY; B = ABOVE AVERAGE~MUST SEE; C= AVERAGE~SHOULD SEE; D = DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY; F = YEAH..NO DON’T SEE THE MOVIE.. ( + OR – ) GIVES IT A BIT UP OR DOWN