REVIEW: “A CURE FOR WELLNESS” (2016) FOX

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Where do I even start this review. With the running theme of eels? The numerous Octagenarian nude scenes? The torture scenes? The cryptic mystery of the Spa? Yes, I think I will start there. Or maybe not, maybe I will start with the absolute insult to our intelligence that this movie actually is.
We join the De Haan character Lockhart, in his quest to figure out what in the bejesus is going on at Dr. Volmer’s (Jason Isaac) Swiss spa. As he spends a great amount of the film on squeaky crutches wandering the estate and trying to figure out..well..nothing really. Needless to say, he sees and is subjected to a lot of dark and twisted stuff.
Our main character Lockhart (Dane DeHaan), who is the exact sort of morally bankrupt young financial hotshot you’ve seen in a bunch of other movies. His bosses are so cartoonishly evil that they may as well be counting wads of cash as they tell him he’s being sent off to stay at a remote wellness center in the Swiss Alps to fetch a wayward executive “Pembroke” (Harry Groener) whose signature is needed to allow a merger to go forth so as to allow them to rake in more millions.
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When I review a film, I find it difficult to walk the fine line between discussing it and revealing spoilers, so you’re lucky that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t reveal the spoilers because absolutely NOTHING made sense in this ridiculous film. Except I will let you know it’s long..very long..and painfully slow.

So what exactly is the sickness that “the cure” is treating? Who is the mysterious girl Hannah (Mia Goth) that wanders around a pond all day, yet sneaks away with Lockhart for her first beer in town? Why does no one ever leave? What’s with the eels? What’s with the water? Why are teeth falling out? Why are the townfolks so off-put by those on the hill? What is the Center’s dark past and can it be uncovered. What are the real reasons as to why the guests keep staying there, longing for the Cure? What answers do the puzzles bring? Is Lockhart himself insane? Seriously.. do you notice this whole review is just questions with no answers and by the end of this long, arduous film, you just don’t even care. Gore Verbinski – you’re better than this dammit.
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The only thing I can give this film is a kudos on is the cinematography, as it was excellent. The acting is not very well done by anyone and there was absolutely no big moments of suspense though they make you think it’s full of it. There is zip-nada-zero-nothing. And nothing was explained at the movie’s conclusion and you’re left with way too many unanswered questions. But then again, at this point you just want it to end and be able to leave. A much needed and decent synopsis of what I really saw would be helpful at this point.

Grade: D-
@pegsatthemovies

Media Review Screening: Wednesday, Feb 1, 2017 ~ Courtesy of 20th Century Fox
NATIONWIDE RELEASE: Friday, February 17. 2017

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REVIEW ~ “GONE GIRL” (2014) 20th Century Fox

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Now that pretty much everyone and their mother has done a review of this movie..I present you with mine!! hahahaha  As it’s been a week since I’ve seen it..Yes, I procrastinated big time on this review..oopsie!! So..here we goooooooo.. If you like a mix of the darkest of dark comedies, mixed with suspense and a good thrill..this is the movie for you.  To start with, even as an avid reader, I didn’t read the book specifically because I wanted to see the movie and not be critical of it or know what was going to happen.  I’m glad I didn’t as it keeps the many surprises of plot twists that even though it’s not super hard to figure them out, I was glad to see it all unravel on the big screen.  The toughest part of a review of this movie is not revealing everything in a review..AKA SPOILERS.. and as I never do, and this is a film you especially want to just ‘experience’ all the twists and turns yourself..trust me. gone girl 1

On the day of his 5th wedding anniversary, “Nick Dunne” (Ben Affleck) day goes from starting off bad..to worse day ever!  After spending some time gossiping with his sister “Margo” (Carrie Coon) over his troubled marriage at the ‘The Bar” that they own together, Nick returns home to discover what looks to be the scene of a crime. His wife “Amy Dunne” (Rosamund Pike) seems to be missing. Assigned to the case is “Detective Rhonda Boney” (Kim Dickens) and “Officer Jim Gilpin” (Patrick Fugit) whom suspect foul play, and almost immediately, the local community and the nation somewhat, goes on a search for Amy in part no thanks to the media firestorm that erupts as a result provides the movie’s most pointed satired character by far.. “Ellen Abbott” (Missi Pyle) who plays a news pundit whose look and manner is an unmistakable, spot-on takedown of a certain television personality that I’m sure you will not only figure out, but have a good laugh at.

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Nick tells us one side of their marriage—a troubled one, yes, but one that has its reasons for being in that state. Amy’s parents “Rand & Marybeth Elliot”(David Clennon/Lisa Banes) are the authors of a series of children’s books aka the reason their daughter’s disappearance become national news, which are snidely based on what their expectations were for Amy while she was growing up which she didn’t always succeed at.  In her diary, which cleverly is a big focal point of this movie so pay attention to it, Amy agrees with a lot of Nick says, but she also hints at a darker side to Nick that he doesn’t show.  gone girl 3

That’s the gist of the plot, and again, I don’t want to spoil any of it for anyone as there’s so much more that gradually unravels here.  Fincher has a good style and I always seem to like his films, as they have a good edge and pace to them which makes them pretty enjoyable to watch. Affleck for me is fits perfectly in this role with his boyish charm on full throttle, Rosamund Pike, who I must admit is not always my fav, in movies..but here she is superb & chilling in providing layer after layer to be stripped away until only the unexpected, terrifying truth remains. But my favourite acting here comes from Kim Dickens as the detective with a somewhat comical, sarcastic tone to everything she does. Yes, Neil Patrick Harris is here too as “Desi Collings” but his character is just to weak for me and yes, so is Tyler Perry, playing against his usual Madea type, as the lawyer “Tanner Bolt” and people seem to think this is such a breakout drama performance for him..uhhh NO..remember “Alex Cross” yeah, he’s not all that here either, sorry. This film is a mesmerizing a two hour rollercoaster ride…is it an award winning movie, for me no..but damn it’s entertaining and definitely worth the bang for the buck you will be paying for it.  Go..enjoy..and be entertained! GONE GIRL 4

And  at the end..make sure you always remember the big question as I think we can always ask..”What have we done to each other”

Grade: B-  (above average – MUST see)

(see grading scale)

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