The plot of Disney’s latest foray into a ride re-do is “HAUNTED MANSION” featuring a single mom Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), and her young son Travis (Chase Dillon), who move into a new ‘old’ house in New Orleans. Once there, they hire grieving tour guide Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield), a dubious psychic Harriet (Tiffany Hadish), a shady priest Father Kent (Owen Wilson), and an unhinged historian Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito), to help exorcise her newly bought mansion after discovering it is inhabited by ghosts.

So, it goes with this new attempt at a movie based on a popular Disney ride.  It’s chock-a-block full of inside jokes and references to the ride, some in plain sight, some tucked away in the corners of the screen.  As a big fan of the ride, one can only enjoy the little Easter eggs presented throughout and enjoy them a lot. Big fun highlights were the chair shaped like a Doom Buggy; and the room that stretches; and the hitchhiking ghosts, and on and on. If you’ve been on it, you get it. While the film tries to utilize the setting of New Orleans in some decently authentic ways, the rest of the plot and character development is so generic that they fail to make viewers more engaged in the setting. The film’s attempts at both humor and scares fall flat, as the jokes are formulaic and corny while the attempts at more frightening moments fail to elicit any tension or suspense, and are quite repetitive and CGI-heavy.

But aside from all the cool references, there is not much else to recommend, especially not for those few poor souls who are not as thoroughly familiar with the Disney ride as I and many others are.  There’s a heart-tugging sub-plot about the grieving tour guide, Ben and while it’s not meant to be comical, Stanfield’s wooden straight face playing the absurd material, trying to pull out the emotional stops for a touching moment as he describes his late wife, is almost painful to watch. It’s also one that pushes an absolute scene-stealing button from Danny DeVito. Then there is Travis, son of single mom Gabbie, who has problems with bullies at school, even when he isn’t troubled by the ghosts who have latched onto him like lice. Another is the issue of who all the resident ghosts are REALLY afraid of a big-bad ghost entity known only as the Hatbox ghost (Jared Leto). But we the audience are not. Jamie Lee Curtis steps in for a bit as Madame Leota, and she brings some decent comedic timing to this sorely lacking comedic film. Dan Levy is Vic – the new owner of the house and then there is a super surprise from Winona Ryder in a flash part as ghostly Pat. And one of my favourite little guest appearances is at the very beginning where Marilu Henner is part of a tour group. She is a wonderful flashback to the old Taxi days with DeVito.

Acting ranges from good all the way down to…well…lackluster. Most of the cast does an okay job with what they were given. The high-end example is Danny DeVito. The man never seems to put less than 110% into whatever he does. At the lows is Rosario Dawson, an otherwise fine actress who looks like she just doesn’t want to be in this particular film. She shows little to no emotion even as her world is falling apart. Who knows, maybe that’s a directorial decision. LaKeith is a wonderful drama actor, but is sorely mis-cast here as he lacks the most basic of comedic timing. Dawson saves a few of scenes with the two of them, even though you know where they are headed together as character. Haddish, well she does Haddish. Nothing more, nothing less…

The movie has all the requisite creepy hallways and creaking doors and one or two iffy jump-scares, but everything is done so tongue-and-cheek that it’s never truly horrifying…which is what can be confusing. Is this meant to be scary, funny or what was the aim of the filmmakers.  Certainly, you don’t want to make a film, based on a jaunty fun theme park ride, as scary as The Exorcist.  So, to that end, the filmmakers succeeded.  The movie is harmless, even a little fun at times, Owen Wilson gets to deliver some of his trademark dry observations, and DeVito gets to play some notes that I haven’t seen him play in a very long time.  If pressed, I would be forced to conclude that, for non-fans of the ride, this movie would most likely be a bit of a slog. At over two hours long, the film also runs for too long, especially given the plot has limited resolution or payoff – but again, it has it’s ‘cute moments,’ despite missing that one leg so to speak.

Grade: C-

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“HAUNTED MANSION” FROM WALT DISNEY PICTURES IS OUT IN THEATERS FRIDAY, JULY 28, 2023

Review Screening: Monday, July 24, 2023 ~ Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures